A Day in the Life of ElisabethMcQueen
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Wednesday was a bit of a none day for me, I had to wait in for a parcel from the post man and normally they are quite good and turn up about 11ish in the morning. But 11 came and went and it wasn’t until about 4:30 in the afternoon that it turned up. With my mood being off, and my psychiatrist saying I am in a mixed episode at the moment, something which I agree with. This lead to a whole host of paranoid thinking relating to the parcel, which added to a level of anxiety that I really didn’t need.
With your mood going up and down all the time, something simple as waiting for a parcel to be delivered becomes a massive stressing factor which then feeds in to all the chaos that’s going on inside your head leading to even more stress and frustration. Some of which gets relived when the parcel finally turns up. But the rest of it adds in to the whole underlying frustration that is already there.
I wasn’t really able to do much else on Wednesday as the stress of waiting for the parcel messed with my head. The mixed episode has been going on now for a good few months, and to be honest I really want it to end. It’s the only type of episode which I have that does last any sizable length of time and having a break from it will be more than welcome.
It’s the one type of episode I wish I could share with other people, as then they would be able to understand a bit more just how frustrating living with bipolar actually is. As the highs and lows most people experience to some degree, although normally not as pronounced as with bipolar. But the mixed episodes where you get both at once is not something that many people will ever get to experience and if they could well then I think the understanding of mental health would go up, as well as the empathy levels of the general population.
To be stuck in a situation where you don’t know what your mood is going to do from one minute to the next is both exhausting and frustrating. I really wish it would just pick one type of mood and stay with it.